with christ, i can do hard things.
this is something i've been grateful to learn throughout my life. i know living the gospel doesn't mean life is easier than anyone else's. i know it doesn't mean trials will pass me by. i know it doesn't mean satan doesn't tempt me.
i know it DOES mean that whatever happens can be endured. i will be supported, i will be comforted, i will be given strength when my own runs out. i know prayers are answered. i know that even when life seems to swirl out of control, and there is no reasoning or explanation, even when there is so much hurt and unfairness- Christ is the only answer.
Christ brings comfort.
Christ brings strength.
Christ brings endurance.
Christ brings peace.
Christ brings hope.
Christ brings love, kindness, charity.
Christ is always the answer.
my family has been given a painful trial in recent weeks. it has been horrifying and heartwrenching. i've done my best to remember that Christ is the only answer. there are a lot of questions. a lot of unknowns. a lot of hurt. my thirty-six-year-old-aunt left this world, leaving three tiny boys and husband behind. we have so many blessings like how all of our family is close by to comfort one another and lift each other. our community also came together and did so much in offering help or consoling words. the funeral service was lovely. the speakers brought an amazing spirit. my uncle scott, my dad's brother, gave an apostle-worthy talk. he said things that rang true in my heart and was verified with the strongest presence of the spirit. it was a comforting spirit there. the Comforter was there. i felt literal peace and knowledge that everything would be okay. her boys would be okay. her family would be okay. we would all be okay. so i'm so grateful for my knowledge of the gospel. SO GRATEFUL for the spirit that i'm capable of having with me constantly. so grateful to have had such a spiritual experience. my aunt had requested that i sing with my sisters during her services. the song she chose was "where can i turn for peace." honestly, getting through that emotional song was one of the absolute hardest things i've ever had to get through. i didn't want to stand up there and bawl like a baby. it's not pretty when i cry, let alone completely fall apart. and that's what i was so close to doing. but somehow, we managed to hold it together and get through that song for her.
in other news,
drake and i made a move to pocatello because of this tragic event. my grandparents who had been serving their mission in minneanapolis, came home a little early to be with the family. drake and i had a strong feeling that it was our time to move to pocatello. it was just in time for drake's classes to start anyway. so we got a small one bedroom apartment in pocatello close to ISU and now our commute is much smaller. we were very blessed to get an apartment that was in our price range and close to ISU. it also includes power in the rent so we don't need to be burdened with an extra payment. it is also large and spacious which we enjoy. we were blessed in finding it. we also received so much help moving into this apartment from our families. we are related to a bunch of workhorses. drake loaded all our stuff into a horse trailer and my dad pulled it all into pocatello, then we all came together and helped heave our stuff up three flights of stairs. sarah, jarik, dassia, and trevor packer all joined in and helped too! i was SO grateful for our family. then, i had bought a table and chairs for cheap on craigslist, but the table leg broke off. my dad pulled out his tools and fixed that table leg... twice! my mom broke the newly stabilized leg moving the table and so my dad had to redo his work. he reinforced it that time. i also was able to buy a used AC unit from a coworker at work and save a lot of money. it was a definite life saver because our apartment was roasting hot! i had to buy a fan for our bedroom if i ever hoped to sleep, but a small one did the trick and now we are very comfortable in our new apartment. it really was a huge blessing. i know that drake and i are so blessed because of our obedience to the gospel. we do our best to be our best, and we are humbled in the blessings we receive.
yet another blessing in disguise:
driving on our way to natalie's funeral services, our car broke down on the side of the road. long story short- we need to replace the engine in our 2006 car that only had 86,000 miles. huge bummer. we kind of made an investment in this car hoping it would last us many good years. nope. anyway, after a week or two of turmoil in our heads wondering how we'd ever come up with more than a couple thousand dollars to fix our car, which we couldn't live without, i was a ball of stress. we had financial aid from drake's school that we could use, but it already a purpose. it was supposed to be what helped us when i leave work next month because we're having a baby... great timing, huh? if we used all that now, there's no way we'd be able to pay all our bills in november and december. being self-sufficient and independent is very important to me and knowing that we'd be relying on other people wasn't something i wanted to do if we could at all avoid it. our other option was to go to the credit union and try extending our loan a few grand. this wasn't necessarily something we wanted to do, but we were mulling the idea over in our minds. then, a blessing dropped into our laps. my uncle nathan and aunt gaby have been trying to sell an older jeep cherokee of theirs for a while. they no longer need or drive it. it is older, but it has a lot of newness within it too. whenever this was brought up before, drake and i never considered spending more money on another car. however, now that we were in greater need of a set of wheels, it occurred to us that we could purchase this jeep (for a very, very small amount of money) now and wait to fix our car until january when we'd be in another situation to accept financial aid. that way, we'd have a second car for when we were in provo, which was always something we wanted anyway. so we talked it over, felt good about it, and decided that we should pursue this option. another blessing in our laps that let us save most of the financial aid money for it's intended purpose. yay!
drake and i have recognized how blessed we are in this time of our lives. we are young soon-to-be parents and we are also students. we chose this route for ourselves and our family because we felt that God was in support of our decision too. we recognize that without His blessings and watchful eye over us, we wouldn't be so well off. even though we have some financial hurdles every once in a while, we are full tithe payers and there is always a way provided for us to survive and be more than happy together.
we know that we should never worry or fear too much because we have Christ, and with Him, we can do all hard things.
Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart,
Searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows,
Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.
He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind,
Love without end.
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart,
Searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows,
Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.
He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind,
Love without end.
i'm grateful for the times i did share with my aunt natalie. i'm grateful that i am old enough to have memories
of her that will last a lifetime. i'm grateful for her example to me.
drake and i made a move to pocatello because of this tragic event. my grandparents who had been serving their mission in minneanapolis, came home a little early to be with the family. drake and i had a strong feeling that it was our time to move to pocatello. it was just in time for drake's classes to start anyway. so we got a small one bedroom apartment in pocatello close to ISU and now our commute is much smaller. we were very blessed to get an apartment that was in our price range and close to ISU. it also includes power in the rent so we don't need to be burdened with an extra payment. it is also large and spacious which we enjoy. we were blessed in finding it. we also received so much help moving into this apartment from our families. we are related to a bunch of workhorses. drake loaded all our stuff into a horse trailer and my dad pulled it all into pocatello, then we all came together and helped heave our stuff up three flights of stairs. sarah, jarik, dassia, and trevor packer all joined in and helped too! i was SO grateful for our family. then, i had bought a table and chairs for cheap on craigslist, but the table leg broke off. my dad pulled out his tools and fixed that table leg... twice! my mom broke the newly stabilized leg moving the table and so my dad had to redo his work. he reinforced it that time. i also was able to buy a used AC unit from a coworker at work and save a lot of money. it was a definite life saver because our apartment was roasting hot! i had to buy a fan for our bedroom if i ever hoped to sleep, but a small one did the trick and now we are very comfortable in our new apartment. it really was a huge blessing. i know that drake and i are so blessed because of our obedience to the gospel. we do our best to be our best, and we are humbled in the blessings we receive.
yet another blessing in disguise:
driving on our way to natalie's funeral services, our car broke down on the side of the road. long story short- we need to replace the engine in our 2006 car that only had 86,000 miles. huge bummer. we kind of made an investment in this car hoping it would last us many good years. nope. anyway, after a week or two of turmoil in our heads wondering how we'd ever come up with more than a couple thousand dollars to fix our car, which we couldn't live without, i was a ball of stress. we had financial aid from drake's school that we could use, but it already a purpose. it was supposed to be what helped us when i leave work next month because we're having a baby... great timing, huh? if we used all that now, there's no way we'd be able to pay all our bills in november and december. being self-sufficient and independent is very important to me and knowing that we'd be relying on other people wasn't something i wanted to do if we could at all avoid it. our other option was to go to the credit union and try extending our loan a few grand. this wasn't necessarily something we wanted to do, but we were mulling the idea over in our minds. then, a blessing dropped into our laps. my uncle nathan and aunt gaby have been trying to sell an older jeep cherokee of theirs for a while. they no longer need or drive it. it is older, but it has a lot of newness within it too. whenever this was brought up before, drake and i never considered spending more money on another car. however, now that we were in greater need of a set of wheels, it occurred to us that we could purchase this jeep (for a very, very small amount of money) now and wait to fix our car until january when we'd be in another situation to accept financial aid. that way, we'd have a second car for when we were in provo, which was always something we wanted anyway. so we talked it over, felt good about it, and decided that we should pursue this option. another blessing in our laps that let us save most of the financial aid money for it's intended purpose. yay!
drake and i have recognized how blessed we are in this time of our lives. we are young soon-to-be parents and we are also students. we chose this route for ourselves and our family because we felt that God was in support of our decision too. we recognize that without His blessings and watchful eye over us, we wouldn't be so well off. even though we have some financial hurdles every once in a while, we are full tithe payers and there is always a way provided for us to survive and be more than happy together.
we know that we should never worry or fear too much because we have Christ, and with Him, we can do all hard things.
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