missing my grandpa

i'm blessed to have a very close family. and extended family. we all pretty much stuck around idaho and that makes doing family outings on a regular basis something easy to do. i love my chaotic babb family, even though we tease each other about the drama and how we could make a soap opera. 

i am also EXTREMELY blessed to have the world's best grandparents ever. i could go on and on about that, but tonight i just want to focus on my grandpa babb. it's been four years now since he died. i remember it clearly. i was a senior in high school sitting in my seminary class when i got a phone call from my dad. now, i'd normally never take a call in class, but my dad would normally never call either, so i stepped out and was told that my grandpa had had a stroke and we better come in. he told me to pick up all my siblings from our various schools and head to town. it was scary. i'd never dealt with anything like this. my other grandpa had had some serious, life-threatening injuries, but he beat all the odds! 

i remember having these thoughts go through my mind: we just were talking about how proud he was for me going to BYU, and how proud and excited he was for drake going on a mission. he literally googled the weather forecast in chile to inform drake. i love that memory. i remembered his laugh/chuckle- everyone remembers that! his jokes. another no-brainer. his jokes that were too smart for any of us, that he had no problem laughing at all by himself. the ham radio talk. his office in his basement. the countless dollars spent on his grandchildren. the barbie computer game that i'm sure was absurdly expensive. coming to every. single. dance. recital. for hours and hours and hours. 

i remember holding his hand as he was in the hospital that night. he seemed to be kind of coherent. he was awake, and moving, and looking around. but he didn't recognize us, or talk to us. the damage had been done. eventually my sweet grandma had to make the decision to take him off life support with all her children around his bedside. 

i miss that man. i miss his happiness and optimism. i miss how much love he had for everyone, and how generous, and how he was forever a missionary. i know that he's working so hard on the other side, continuing that missionary work. i know that he sent me my sweet zenna baby and he's currently bouncing my other future little ones on his knee laughing out loud. i wish they got to experience some of his mortal adventures, but maybe they all have the better end of the deal anyway. 

love you, grandpa!