forever a family

forever a family

Sunday, March 22, 2015

sunday journal

this is such a great time of year. Easter and general conference are coming up! what an amazing opportunity to reflect on the savior and where he is in our lives. is he there, but not a top priority in out lives? is he knocking, but we're not answering? or he is front and center, like he should be? 

i'll be the first to admit that it's hard keeping up with life (finances, school obligations, work obligations, family needs, house needs, personal needs) while also remembering to keep Christ in the center. drake and i like to make goals. i'm a "list" person, so goals goes right along with the way my mind works. drake still has a certain degree of missionary goal-setting left in him too. when we notice things missing in our life, or marriage, we make goals. so we've made spiritual goals many times before. it's a hard thing to master, for sure. but i think the real point in life is never getting so far away that you start to lose the blessings the gospel brings. try, try, and try again! we've all seen someone so subtly and slowly slip away from doing those easy, simply things like praying and reading scriptures. those are so easy to do, yet when you stop doing them, it makes a big difference! i know because i'm not perfect at those things either, but i notice a difference in my life, and i don't want to miss out on those blessings. 

overall, drake and i have spent so many conversations talking about how blessed we are. we have been granted so many beautiful things in the three years that we've been married. we never really planned this far ahead to be where we are. we feel really lucky. drake has been working as a pizza delivery driver for about a year now. i mean nothing special about that, right? except his bosses are such great people that actually care about family-time and going above and beyond. drake has been so blessed to work for great men, and these guys have definitely influenced him in a good way. i mean hey, delivering pizzas is a great way to earn money - tips are an awesome thing - but he's been able to somewhat enjoy going to work each week. that's huge. i've also been blessed beyond words in my work this year. being a first year teacher is HARD. no one would deny that. you don't have any lesson plans ready, you hardly have any experience, and there is so much responsibility placed on your shoulders to teach these kids. not just academically, but you're teaching them character too. they spend most of their days at school surrounded by whatever you let them be surrounded in. it's huge. but it's such an incredible experience. every detail from the principal, the fourth grade team, to my byu facilitator has been an amazing blessing. i've had so much support that my stress level never got overwhelming. for most first year teachers, there's a plotted downward arch until the middle of the year before things start going better. i never really got to a point where i felt that way. i got pregnant, so i was tired and a little nauseous at times, but even that was a huge blessing. just everything about my experience has been beautiful and i'll be so sad to see it end (and that's soon!!) - i can't believe it! because of these great jobs we've been given, we have a comfortable life right now. we live in a great apartment (and even the landlord has been really easy to work with!) and we've been able to share this year with dassia as our roommate, which has been so fun! we've been able to truly start building the foundation for what we want our family to ultimately become. this year we got a way newer car, too. that seemed impossible at the time because our car was truly falling apart. it was so depressing because we still owed a lot of money on it, and we just really didn't want to keep paying for repairs. so we just looked into it and found out that we qualified and we got a way better car with better gas mileage and definitely many years to live. we were blessed. 

now, as we're preparing to move forward yet again, i will be graduating from BYU. what?! that happened? i finished college? yup. in fact, my last assignment will be submitted tomorrow and then all i have left to do is teach until the end of may. as we started looking into where we'd live in idaho, we decided we wanted to be in pocatello, at least while drake is going to isu. we were looking into renting some more because who knows where we'll end up after drake graduates, but then an even better idea hit us. so we started looking into buying a house. turns out a mortgage payment is a lot cheaper than paying rent. so we got the process started to see what we could do, and sure enough- another huge blessing. we are approved to get a house. as soon as i sign a new teaching contract for next year, we can sign on a house. it's an incredible thing. we definitely never even considered being where we are today. we never plan these things, even with me being an ultra-planner, but we've just truly been blessed. 

we have a happy toddler, who shows so much love and sweetness that it's hard not be sure she's one of god's greatest angels! we have really gotten to a point where the contention-level in our marriage is extremely low. and when i'm stressed and needing something to help me, he does it. and when he's got too much on his plate balancing being daddy-daycare, school, and work - i do it. we have another sweet girl on the way (i think she might be a future gymnast considering how much she flips around in my stomach). and we are extremely happy. all the time. we're just blessed. 

we know these blessings come from God. we know that because we strive to follow Him and His son, Jesus Christ, we receive blessings. we know that because we work hard to support ourselves, build our spirituality, and serve them - we receive happiness in our lives. 

so that's the main thing we've considered in our life lately: obedience, observance, and enduring brings blessings to our life. we feel so much gratitude and love for our Heavenly Father and brother, Jesus Christ. but still, we can always be better at keeping these things the front and center of our life. life has definitely been busy lately as i've prepared for the PRAXIS exam and submitting my final Teacher Work Sample assignment. what i forgot that when i put my spiritual goals aside in order to accomplish personal, school, or work goals . . . i lose the most important support i could have in my life. when i forget to pray, i'm missing out on that blessing. when i forget to think about my savior and how he can help support me, i'm missing out. so as i've recommitted to keeping the important things front and center, i've felt greater strength, peace, and happiness in my life. 

as i've been pondering these things, and the fact that easter is coming up, i've found these two messages that i want to share. the first is from general conference a year or two ago, and i was listening to it one morning while getting ready for work. the message hit me loud and clear. i want my children to keep this message close to them, i want them to protect themselves and their lives. the second message is from a BYU speech by Brad Wilcox. he was a professor in the education department at BYU, but he also is known for sharing his messages, this one specifically. 


Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

My dear brothers and sisters, each day is a day of decision. President Thomas S. Monson has taught us that “decisions determine destiny.”1 The wise use of your freedom to make your own decisions is crucial to your spiritual growth, now and for eternity. You are never too young to learn, never too old to change. Your yearnings to learn and change come from a divinely instilled striving for eternal progression.2 Each day brings opportunity for decisions for eternity.

We are eternal beings—spirit children of heavenly parents. The Bible records that “God created man in his own image, … male and female created he them.”3Recently I heard a chorus of children sing the beloved song “I Am a Child of God.”4 I wondered, “Why haven’t I heard that song rendered more often by singing mothers or faithful fathers?” Are we not all children of God? In truth, not one of us can ever stop being a child of God!

As children of God, we should love Him with all our heart and soul, even more than we love our earthly parents.5 We should love our neighbors as brothers and sisters. No other commandments are greater than these.6 And we should ever revere the worth of human life, through each of its many stages.

Scripture teaches that the body and the spirit are the soul of man.7 As a dual being, each of you can thank God for His priceless gifts of your body and your spirit.

The Human Body
My professional years as a medical doctor gave me a profound respect for the human body. Created by God as a gift to you, it is absolutely amazing! Think of your eyes that see, ears that hear, and fingers that feel all the wondrous things around you. Your brain lets you learn, think, and reason. Your heart pumps tirelessly day and night, almost without your awareness.8

Your body protects itself. Pain comes as a warning that something is wrong and needs attention. Infectious illnesses strike from time to time, and when they do, antibodies are formed that increase your resistence to subsequent infection.

Your body repairs itself. Cuts and bruises heal. Broken bones can become strong once again. I have cited but a tiny sample of the many amazing God-given qualities of your body.
Even so, it seems that in every family, if not in every person, some physical conditions exist that require special care.9 A pattern for coping with such a challenge has been given by the Lord. He said, “I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; … for if they humble themselves … and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”10

Stellar spirits are often housed in imperfect bodies.11The gift of such a body can actually strengthen a family as parents and siblings willingly build their lives around that child born with special needs.
The aging process is also a gift from God, as is death. The eventual death of your mortal body is essential to God’s great plan of happiness.12 Why? Because death will allow your spirit to return home to Him.13 From an eternal perspective, death is only premature for those who are not prepared to meet God.

With your body being such a vital part of God’s eternal plan, it is little wonder that the Apostle Paul described it as a “temple of God.”14 Each time you look in the mirror, see your body as your temple. That truth—refreshed gratefully each day—can positively influence your decisions about how you will care for your body and how you will use it. And those decisions will determine your destiny. How could this be? Because your body is the temple for your spirit. And how you use your body affects your spirit. Some of the decisions that will determine your eternal destiny include:
         • How will you choose to care for and use your body?
         • What spiritual attributes will you choose to develop?
The Human Spirit
Your spirit is an eternal entity. The Lord said to His prophet Abraham: “Thou wast chosen before thou wast born.”15 The Lord said something similar about Jeremiah16 and many others.17 He even said it about you.18

Your Heavenly Father has known you for a very long time. You, as His son or daughter, were chosen by Him to come to earth at this precise time, to be a leader in His great work on earth.19 You were chosen not for your bodily characteristics but for your spiritual attributes, such as bravery, courage, integrity of heart, a thirst for truth, a hunger for wisdom, and a desire to serve others.

You developed some of these attributes premortally. Others you can develop here on earth20 as you persistently seek them.21

A pivotal spiritual attribute is that of self-mastery—the strength to place reason over appetite. Self-mastery builds a strong conscience. And your conscience determines your moral responses in difficult, tempting, and trying situations. Fasting helps your spirit to develop dominance over your physical appetites. Fasting also increases your access to heaven’s help, as it intensifies your prayers. Why the need for self-mastery? God implanted strong appetites within us for nourishment and love, vital for the human family to be perpetuated.22 When we master our appetites within the bounds of God’s laws, we can enjoy longer life, greater love, and consummate joy.23

It is not surprising, then, that most temptations to stray from God’s plan of happiness come through the misuse of those essential, God-given appetites. Controlling our appetites is not always easy. Not one of us manages them perfectly.24 Mistakes happen. Errors are made. Sins are committed. What can we do then? We can learn from them. And we can truly repent.25

We can change our behavior. Our very desires can change. How? There is only one way. True change—permanent change—can come only through the healing, cleansing, and enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.26 He loves you—each of you!27 He allows you to access His power as you keep His commandments, eagerly, earnestly, and exactly. It is that simple and certain. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of change!28

A strong human spirit with control over appetites of the flesh is master over emotions and passions and not a slave to them. That kind of freedom is as vital to the spirit as oxygen is to the body! Freedom from self-slavery is true liberation!29

We are “free to choose liberty and eternal life … or to choose captivity and death.”30 When we choose the loftier path toward liberty and eternal life, that path includes marriage.31 Latter-day Saints proclaim that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” We also know that “gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”32
Marriage between a man and a woman is fundamental to the Lord’s doctrine and crucial to God’s eternal plan. Marriage between a man and a woman is God’s pattern for a fulness of life on earth and in heaven. God’s marriage pattern cannot be abused, misunderstood, or misconstrued.33 Not if you want true joy. God’s marriage pattern protects the sacred power of procreation and the joy of true marital intimacy.34 We know that Adam and Eve were married by God before they ever experienced the joy of uniting as husband and wife.35

In our day civil governments have a vested interest in protecting marriage because strong families constitute the best way of providing for the health, education, welfare, and prosperity of rising generations.36 But civil governments are heavily influenced by social trends and secular philosophies as they write, rewrite, and enforce laws. Regardless of what civil legislation may be enacted, the doctrine of the Lord regarding marriage and morality cannot be changed.37 Remember: sin, even if legalized by man, is still sin in the eyes of God!

While we are to emulate our Savior’s kindness and compassion, while we are to value the rights and feelings of all of God’s children, we cannot change His doctrine. It is not ours to change. His doctrine is ours to study, understand, and uphold.

The Savior’s way of life is good. His way includes chastity before marriage and total fidelity within marriage.38 The Lord’s way is the only way for us to experience enduring happiness. His way brings sustained comfort to our souls and perennial peace to our homes. And best of all, His way leads us home to Him and our Heavenly Father, to eternal life and exaltation.39 This is the very essence of God’s work and glory.40

My dear brothers and sisters, each day is a day of decision, and our decisions determine our destiny. One day each of us will stand before the Lord in judgment.41We will each have a personal interview with Jesus Christ.42 We will account for decisions that we made about our bodies, our spiritual attributes, and how we honored God’s pattern for marriage and family. That we may choose wisely each day’s decisions for eternity is my earnest prayer in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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His Grace Is Sufficient
By Brad Wilcox
From a devotional address given at Brigham Young University on July 12, 2011. For the full address, visit speeches.byu.edu.

How does God’s grace really work?
A young woman once came to me and asked if we could talk. I said, “Of course. How can I help you?”
She said, “I just don’t get grace.”
I responded, “What is it that you don’t understand?”
She said, “I know I need to do my best, and then Jesus does the rest, but I can’t even do my best.”
I said, “The truth is, Jesus paid our debt in full. He didn’t pay it all except for a few coins. He paid it all. It is finished.”
She said, “Right! Like I don’t have to do anything?”
“Oh, no,” I said, “you have plenty to do, but it is not to pay that debt. We will all be resurrected. We will all go back to God’s presence to be judged. What is left to be determined by our obedience is how comfortable we plan to be in God’s presence and what degree of glory we plan on receiving.”
Christ asks us to show faith in Him, repent, make and keep covenants, receive the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end. By complying, we are not paying the demands of justice—not even the smallest part. Instead, we are showing appreciation for what Jesus Christ did by using it to live a life like His. Justice requires immediate perfection or a punishment when we fall short. Because Jesus took that punishment, He can offer us the chance for ultimate perfection (see Matthew 5:483 Nephi 12:48) and help us reach that goal. He can forgive what justice never could, and He can turn to us now with His own set of requirements (see 3 Nephi 28:35).

Grace Transforms Us
Christ’s arrangement with us is similar to a mom providing music lessons for her child. Mom pays the piano teacher. Because Mom pays the debt in full, she can turn to her child and ask for something. What is it? Practice! Does the child’s practice pay the piano teacher? No. Does the child’s practice repay Mom for paying the piano teacher? No. Practicing is how the child shows appreciation for Mom’s incredible gift. It is how he takes advantage of the amazing opportunity Mom is giving him to live his life at a higher level. Mom’s joy is found not in getting repaid but in seeing her gift used—seeing her child improve. And so she continues to call for practice, practice, practice.
If the child sees Mom’s requirement of practice as being too overbearing (“Gosh, Mom, why do I need to practice? None of the other kids have to practice! I’m just going to be a professional baseball player anyway!”), perhaps it is because he doesn’t yet see with Mom’s eyes. He doesn’t see how much better his life could be if he would choose to live on a higher plane.
In the same way, because Jesus has paid justice, He can now turn to us and say: “Follow me” (Matthew 4:19); “Keep my commandments” (John 14:15). If we see His requirements as being way too much to ask, maybe it is because we do not yet see through Christ’s eyes. We have not yet comprehended what He is trying to make of us.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, “The repenting sinner must suffer for his sins, but this suffering has a different purpose than punishment or payment. Its purpose is change” (The Lord’s Way [1991], 223; emphasis in original). Let’s put that in terms of the child pianist: The child must practice the piano, but this practice has a different purpose than punishment or payment. Its purpose is change.
The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can live after we die but that we can live more abundantly (see John 10:10). The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can be cleansed and consoled but that we can be transformed (see Romans 8). Scriptures make it clear that no unclean thing can dwell with God (seeAlma 40:26), but no unchanged thing will even want to.
The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can go home but that—miraculously—we can feel at home there. If Heavenly Father and His Son did not require faith and repentance, then there would be no desire to change. Think of your friends and family members who have chosen to live without faith and without repentance. They don’t want to change. They are not trying to abandon sin and become comfortable with God. Rather, they are trying to abandon God and become comfortable with sin. If the Father and the Son did not require covenants and bestow the gift of the Holy Ghost, then there would be no way to change. We would be left forever with only willpower, with no access to His power. If Heavenly Father and His Son did not require endurance to the end, then there would be no internalization of those changes over time. They would forever be surface and cosmetic rather than sinking inside us and becoming part of us—part of who we are. Put simply, if Jesus didn’t require practice, then we would never become Saints.

Grace Helps Us
“But don’t you realize how hard it is to practice? I’m just not very good at the piano. I hit a lot of wrong notes. It takes me forever to get it right.” Now wait. Isn’t that all part of the learning process? When a young pianist hits a wrong note, we don’t say he is not worthy to keep practicing. We don’t expect him to be flawless. We just expect him to keep trying. Perfection may be his ultimate goal, but for now we can be content with progress in the right direction. Why is this perspective so easy to see in the context of learning piano but so hard to see in the context of learning heaven?
Too many are giving up on the Church because they are tired of constantly feeling like they are falling short. They have tried in the past, but they continually feel like they are just not good enough. They don’t understand grace.
There should never be just two options: perfection or giving up. When learning the piano, are the only options performing at Carnegie Hall or quitting? No. Growth and development take time. Learning takes time. When we understand grace, we understand that God is long-suffering, that change is a process, and that repentance is a pattern in our lives. When we understand grace, we understand that the blessings of Christ’s Atonement are continuous and His strength is perfect in our weakness (see 2 Corinthians 12:9). When we understand grace, we can, as it says in the Doctrine and Covenants, “continue in patience until [we] are perfected” (D&C 67:13).
Grace is not a booster engine that kicks in once our fuel supply is exhausted. Rather, it is our constant energy source. It is not the light at the end of the tunnel but the light that moves us through the tunnel. Grace is not achieved somewhere down the road. It is received right here and right now.

Grace Is Sufficient
The grace of Christ is sufficient (see Ether 12:27D&C 17:8)—sufficient to cover our debt, sufficient to transform us, and sufficient to help us for as long as that transformation process takes. The Book of Mormon teaches us to rely solely on “the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah” (2 Nephi 2:8). As we do, we do not discover—as some Christians believe—that Christ requires nothing of us. Rather, we discover the reason He requires so much and find the strength to do all He asks (see Philippians 4:13). Grace is not the absence of God’s high expectations. Grace is the presence of God’s power (see Luke 1:37).

God’s grace is sufficient. Jesus’s grace is sufficient. It is enough. It is all we need. Don’t quit. Keep trying. Don’t look for escapes and excuses. Look for the Lord and His perfect strength. Don’t search for someone to blame. Search for someone to help you. Seek Christ, and, as you do, you will feel the enabling power and divine help we call His amazing grace.

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